Who leads the most pampered existence? Victoria Beckham, Elton John or me? Probably me, on reflection. Victoria and Elton will sizzle with envy as soon as they hear about the gilded life I have enjoyed this past week, with a team of willing elves working day and night on three different continents to satisfy my every fancy and idle caprice. Not one of my assistants - Donna in America, Shashi in India and Sergei in Russia - has uttered a word of complaint at the crescendo of my shrill demands.
While Mrs Beckham must spend a mighty chunk of husband David's earnings to have countless assistants fetch and carry at the click of her fingers, I have laid out less than £50.
Stress has vanished from my life in a week, my dreams have become sweeter, my forehead smooth. And before the urge to wipe the smug smile from my face overpowers you, I should hastily add that anyone can enjoy this supremely spoiled level of luxury at the same absurd price. All you have to do is outsource your life.
